Mastering the art of self-humiliation

This is a post from my sister: Anne.
infinitySo I have this pair of pants. (Okay, they’re capris, but who cares.) Wearing these capris is pretty damn close to wearing a cloud. They’re comfortable in all the right places and smooth as a baby’s bum from being washed so many times. They’re beige and are just starting to show their age; there’s a bleach spot on the cuff of the left leg and one of the pockets is ripped at the corner, but they’re great to bum around in.

They’re maternity.

I found them when I was pregnant with Julia, tucked away on a crowded clearance rack at a maternity clothing store. They didn’t look like maternity pants and I was pleasantly surprised when I tried them on and found they made me look good, which was a hard look to achieve because I looked like a manatee while pregnant with her. I broke them in so well that when I packed up my maternity stuff I left them out so I could wear them around the house. Seems I never put them away after I had Oliver, either. Continue reading “Mastering the art of self-humiliation”

What not to say to complete strangers

graphLast night, out of the blue, I remembered something that I haven’t thought of in years. Let me take you back to my college days…

My roommate and I were sitting in the living room of our apartment passing the bong back and forth, trying to solve the Wheel of Fortune puzzle, when the phone rang.

A familiar-sounding male voice asked to speak to me. I placed him right away – it was Justin, a friend of mine. (Here’s where I pause for the cause and offer up a bit of background info: Justin was a great guy with a big heart. He was laid back, funny and super easy-going, and we clicked from the get-go. I always felt completely at ease when I was around him – able to be my normal, vulgar self.) Before I could answer him, he introduced himself as Brian, said he was calling from a major credit card company and explained that he had a fabulous offer lined up for me. I chuckled softly to myself – Justin was just the kind of guy who would call pretending to be a sales rep. Continue reading “What not to say to complete strangers”